water colors and staying

It’s been a year, covering an entire range of emotions.  The most painful, without question, are all the ones revolving around dad’s passing in September.  The trick for me is to feel those emotions, rather than the obvious running away from them.  But let’s face it, who wants pain?  We’ve been told, and know from experience, that it’s bad.  Ouchy, even.  What I wasn’t told is what I’m learning now… that even pain has a place.  And I am bigger than that pain.  There is the other side.  Waiting.  And in my world, waiting to give me a dorky high five.  So, I was out with my camera last week and it started to rain.  In the true spirit of  my new conditioning of staying in something until it makes sense not to, I stayed.  To see what the rain might add, rather than seeing it as a ruiner.  (that’s a word, right?).  And right up until my equipment started to get wet, thereby rendering it “sensible” to leave, I got to see something I would’ve otherwise missed.  Not so bad.  This time.