There is a place called, quiet, that has never failed me, so it surprises me sometimes that I don’t go there first. I suppose it’s because, when I am unresolved about something, it still feels more natural just to hurry up and fix things. That’s usually when I become my own worst enemy. I try to talk it away, think it away, and throw solutions at everyone involved. From there it becomes a catch 22. Anyone who isn’t helping me solve it is a potential adversary, which creates more problems. It makes me tired just writing all that.
But I am so thankful for this place called quiet. I am forced to stop all my doing. Everything slows down. There is a lot of waiting, (not easy for me), and ultimately, surrendering. That’s where I unclench my fists and let go of all my answers and wait some more. That’s where I find this incredible rest. It’s weightless. Have you ever been so involved in a task, even if it’s just watching tv, and then you take this deep breath, and suddenly realize you haven’t been breathing, really breathing? It feels like that.
And then I start to see possibilities I didn’t see before. New choices. And sometimes you get the nicest surprises.