for better or worse…

… I heard him say the words.  He looked into my eyes.  And said them.  In front of witnesses.  On April 20, a very brave man held my hands and accepted this wonderful challenge, called marriage.   I felt something very familiar at that moment, the moment where all I could hear was his voice, and all I could see were his beautiful blue-green eyes.  I felt exhilarated and safe at the exact same time.  I know the two don’t usually go together.   But that’s what I felt.  I have felt that way for the last two and a half years.  And there has already been better.  And worse.  So much more of the former.  I am thankful for both.  The better is easy, right?  But I am also thankful, looking back of course, for the worse.  It has taught me.  Enlightened me.  Forced me, to dig just a little deeper.  To drop.  To let go.  To bend.  To meet someone halfway.  Sometimes one step more than halfway.   And to find my true self in all of it.  So as dark as it can feel, while in the middle of it, Worse has an up-side.  If you keep going.  May I always keep going.  Holding the hands of this very brave man.

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2 thoughts on “for better or worse…

  1. Ellen, I wish you all the very best. I look forward to reading your blog, viewing your beautiful art, and feeling grateful for having the opportunity to have met you. You are a beautiful soul …

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