try again. wait.

contemplative

Almost six years ago I received news about my health that made me stand up and take notice.  It wasn’t anything serious and was easily taken care of.  But it made me begin to live differently.  It was if I’d been sleeping for most of my life and I woke up.  I was done sleeping.  The only problem was that I wanted to do it all right now.  There was an urgency attached to almost everything.  It wasn’t about material things.  But I wanted to go and to do and I didn’t want to wait.  Mind you, I’m not one for instant gratification, but I wasn’t given much patience at birth so this new “can’t wait” thing drove me and those around me right to the edge.  Even more poetic, it seems at every turn I have been confronted with someone or some thing that requires… right… an exponential amount of… patience.  Hands off, out of my control, unclenched fists, helpless… waiting.   Wow, the lessons.  And needless to say, I have failed.  Over and over.  Thankfully, God and the universe have been merciful and blessed me with countless opportunities to try again.  Even so, sometimes I can’t help but wish IMpatience was a good thing.

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