and part 3. chutes and ladders

chutes and ladders 1

A new day began this morning.  Back on the treadmill and this time I pushed through the hurty part to the other side.  Past what I set out to do when I got there.  Thing is, I get up every morning and I have these expectations.  Of moving forward.  How ever little… always forward.  Progressively.  I feel like once I’ve seen a certain truth, passed a certain point, that there should be no going backward from there.  But that doesn’t seem to be my experience.  Not this time anyway.  I take two steps forward.  Three back.  One forward.  Two more forward.  One back.  Like that game of Chutes and Ladders.  I have those days… where my steps are sure and solid.  The path is clear.  And I have Chute days… where I second guess and lose my balance.  And I feel like I have to start over.  I’d like a game called Ladders and Ladders.  I wouldn’t mind the climb as long as I kept going higher.  I need a ladder day.  Today.


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