So grateful for yesterday. Perfect company. Sunny. Warmer. And being outside in it all. Today… just as thankful, while we wait for a big snow. In March. In Ohio. Inside. Glad for each day as it is. A lesson I am bound to learn.
You know what’s great? When you search the depths of a situation and you search the depths of yourself and you go in looking for one thing thinking that thing is at the crux, the center, and then while you’re in there… in those depths. That well. You see something else entirely. SO, the things you see about yourself– still true. Things about the situation– still true. And then… surprise. That’s not all you were meant to see. All that searching. All the discovery. Was meant to prepare you for something you weren’t expecting.
Letting go. Letting go. Letting go. And for so long, I have thought about it and written about it and thought about it some more. And I thought I had an understanding of why it was necessary. Flow and moving forward and all that. And today there was a new word added to this understanding. HOPE. There isn’t one reason for letting go, there are many. And today, I realized that if I don’t let go, I stay directly attached to something I see as a problem in myself. And by staying connected to that problem, I keep my focus there and after a while I only see the past. Either as good or as bad, depending. But still the past. Letting go, allows the future in. The present in. And that’s where the hope is. HOPE. There is no hope in the past. It’s done. But there can be. Has to be hope in now. And in tomorrow. There has to be. That’s where the changes take place. Dear God, please let me begin to live this.
a: to hold dear : feel or show affection for
b: to keep or cultivate with care and affection > nurture
I’m getting a jump on my New Year’s Resolutions. The top of the list involve words and concepts that I want to learn and live in a new way. Words like Cherish. Simplicity. Listen. Wait. Charity. Wait some more. Love. Patience. Write. Silence. Breathe. Rest. Do. And the list goes on… Join a gym. Take vitamins. Eat more fresh vegetables. Stop drinking. (just in case I start and can’t stop) Drink more water. Recycle something. Learn a new language. Read twelve books.