Time to make it so

to see

Today is just a date on the calendar.  Just a date.  And when I look at what that date was supposed to signify, it makes me sad at first.  And then I look some more.  I look back over the past few months.  And the past few years.  And I realize that part of me has been sad.  For a long time, about what I am not.  What isn’t.  Today… tonight, to be precise, I decided to order a small pizza.  pepperoni, olives, onions on half.  I poured irish whiskey over ice, added ginger ale and turbinado sugar.  I raised the glass and made one more decision.  To be happier with what is and who I am,  than sad about what isn’t or what I’m not.  Or make it so.  And every day that I can live this, will be its own celebration.

of all things…

chair and other light

The word, surrender, means to yield.  To relinquish.  To submit.  To completely give up control or power.  To stop resisting.  And this concept of handing something over, can happen in steps.  Sometimes.  This time.  It has taken a lot to pry my fists open to let go of something.  And the strange thing about it is that it didn’t happen like I thought it would.  There was no bitterness involved.  No reluctance in the end.  What finally loosened my grip was love itself.  The most powerful force in the universe.  The only force that could break through my will to hang on.  It broke through my reasoning.  My hopes.  My beliefs.  And even with all of its power, Love opened my hands, gently.  Sweetly.  With grace.  Someday, I hope if I practice enough, I will get good at surrendering to this love.  And a lot more quickly.